Whether You Think You Can Or Think You Can't, You're Probably Right

8 months ago I began a life-changing journey at the hands of Mark Fisher and his team of ridiculous humans.  Their motto is as follows:

More is not better.
More is more.
Better is better.
More is sometimes worse.
Enough is plenty.
You are enough.
High five.

"You are enough."  I quote this to myself every morning in the shower, and I'm starting to believe it.  8 months ago I had hurt myself running, was full of cortisol from various stressors, had no idea why my 1200-calorie-a-day diet wasn't working, and was sure I was destined to eventually turn into the Mama Cass I saw in the mirror (albeit with the voice of Karen Carpenter...don't hate).

(Interesting that my images of myself are both 70's singers with eating disorders.....)

I never knew there existed such a place as magical as the one Mark's team has created down on 39th Street.  I can't think of a time when I haven't been excited to go to class, and even the days when the commute sucks or I have to stop what I'm doing at work to put aside time for myself to get there, get dressed, and then get home, it's always worth it.  Upon entering I'm greeted with smiles, hugs, and lots of encouragement.  Once in class the instructors never fail to inspire and set the tone for the next hour of self-love -- be it Matt's costumes, Staci's cheering, Katie's "get-a-heavier-bell-slut" attitude, Geoff's aura, Harold's humor, Stephanie's music, Amanda's all-around-awesomeness, Brian's tear-inducing pride in me, or Mark's reminders to really look at myself in the mirror that make me nod my head rather than the former shaking my head in disappointment.

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, 

you're probably right." 

These words are my constant mantra in class.  The days I think I can't, I'm right and convince myself as such.  But the days I know I can, I fly higher, push the ground further, row faster, swing harder, plank longer, squat deeper, and love more than I ever knew I had within me.  I've sweat more, cried more, lifted more, and cared more in these past 8 months than I have in my entire life.  All because a group of foul-mouthed misfit toys who genuinely care about everyone's goals toward health and hotness.

We have a Facebook group where fellow members ("ninjas" as we're lovingly called) can post anything from funny quotes/pictures to confessions of falling off the healthy wagon to sharing family stories of how they got where they are today.  I look forward to these messages, and even though I'm less participatory (that's the introverted side of the ambivert I am) I feel for these people like they are my family.  We sometimes list our upcoming short term goals like sticking to a workout routine while on vacation, or in a recent case long-term goals like running a marathon next year.

Last weekend I decided to kill it and go all out to usher in November.  I got to the Clubhouse and saw familiar smiling faces ready to go after it as well, including the Mama Bear of my Snatched group.  As an individual she is so beloved and with good reason... she's a freakin' rockstar of a friend.  As a fitness champion her story never fails to awe-inspire.  When she started 8 months ago, she was doing planks against the wall in place of push-ups.  After nearly 30 pounds lost (and a sexy new waistline to boot) her goal is to do 1 perfect push-up before the end of the year.  In the middle of class I heard Brian talking her through her modified push-ups, and at one of our set breaks he turned the music down and told us that during the next set my beautiful friend would be going 1" lower to get even closer to her goal.  She did it during the next set, and at our break something amazing happened.  We took our breather to relish in the glory that had just happened on a mat in the back row.  We lived in the moment of a fellow ninja going 1" lower on a push-up.  I got teary.  We applauded.  It was such a beautiful moment that I'll cherish forever.  It's for reasons like this that I spend time, money, sweat, and tears with these people.

Today I'm stronger than I've ever been, the fittest adult version of myself, and more in-tune with my body, mind, and soul than I ever knew was possible.  I'm at a place where I'm eating 1700 calories a day, consisting of 170g of protein (wowza), between 113g and 170g of carbs, and between 38g and 63g of fats.  Translated: a whole lot of chicken, greek yogurt, cottage cheese, and eggs.  I track my intake with My Fitness Pal and I have a "buddy" who keeps me on track (and brightens my days with fun and inspirational emails).  I workout 3-4 times a week -- 2 classes at MFF and 1-2 at home.  I'm considering shaking this up a bit in 2014, but for now that's where I live.  I've lost pounds, inches, and clothing sizes, but I try not to make that as public as the change I've made in me (you can take the girl out of Disney, but you can't take the Disney out of the girl).

My most-frequent trainer, helper, teacher, and friend (Brian Patrick Murphy)

If you're in the NYC area and want a taste of unicorn-loving, ninja-becoming, brilliantly ridiculous glory that continues to change my life, check it out and tell them I sent you.  And if you're not nearby, check out their always serious, but not so serious you ever get a chance to be bored YouTube channel!!  (Warning: Not Safe For Work... these fools use some serious language and hilarious references you'll never get out of your head)