What Are You Wearing?

One night last week I had a date. I go through spells of these btdubs... I'll go on 97 dates a week and then nada for 2 months. I've been in an "on" phase lately which gets us back to the story at hand. I woke up having a fat, bloaty, I-look-4-months-pregnant kind of day. Every dress I tried on irritated me (of course I can blame the dress instead of the Nesquik I had the night before).

Halfway through the day, I decided to saunter over to Ann Taylor Loft and check out their selection of date attire. I walk in to see the "What Not To Wear" crew filming an episode. Stacy was running around the store picking up pieces to take to the dressing room for their current victim. I grabbed the dress I had my eye on, and went to the dressing room, chalking her presence as just another plus to living in NYC - sometimes you get used to that sort of thing.

One half of the dressing room was roped off as the film set, the other half was full with regular patrons like myself. Since they weren't filming in that precise moment, they let me go behind the ropes and use one of the exclusive ones (because I'm awesome like that). Who's sitting right there? Clinton!! He's all, "Don't mind me, we're just filming a tv show." And I'm all, "Uh, yeah, I know who you are you hot sexy thing"... ok so it wasn't EXACTLY like that, but you get the idea...

I try on the dress, and in the mirror I'm thinking it looks pretty good. Then I think, why not ask the professionals?! So I open the door where Stacy and Clinton are talking and I say, "I don't mean to interrupt you but I have a date tonight I wouldn't mind impressing, and unfortunately I picked a dress out of my closet this morning that makes me look 4 months pregnant. Does this one work? I feel like if I walk out of here not asking you guys, I'll regret it." They laughed (either finding me completely insane or completely charming). Clinton says, "Well, if you're having a bloaty kinda day, then this dress is perfect because of the cut of the dress and material around the midsection." And Stacy adds, "And with your shoulders and cleavage, you can totally rock the v-neck, faux wrap look. You should absolutely buy it!"

I mean, of course I bought it. And similar to the Emperor's New Clothes, even if the dress looked like poo on me, I rocked it like it was designed just for me. And, yes, the boy commented on the dress... so I guess the purpose was served.

For curiosity's sake, here's the dress... I bought the grey one.