No matter, I'm a runner.
I love the high that comes from a good run. I love listening to various run mixes that power me on. I love talking about it with people who are better and faster than I am. I even love the pain that comes from an incredible week of training.
What does scream, "OOOUUUUCH!!" is when my body nearly fails me. Not when my legs tighten up, or when my flexibility isn't that of a former dancer, or even when my breathing shows signs of a multi-mile run. Those I can handle. But when the body doesn't cooperate, I have to listen to it and see what's going on. A trip to Dr. Rein was made. Talk with a trainer was had. And the consensus is I have to slow down.
Unfortunately, my brain doesn't always feel like letting me run long distances. And if that's the worst thing I have to deal with, I guess that's fine. When I think back to 2002-05, I remember simply wanting to make it through three days without a seizure. I wanted nosebleeds to not equal trips to the doctor and subsequent CT scans. I wanted to be able to live day-to-day without having to be hovered over. Thankfully I had a great caretaker, a wonderfully intuitive dog, amazing friends, and supportive family members. Even more thankfully, I'm better. I can run in Astoria Park with a view of the most beautiful city any night I want even if some of those nights produce only a one-miler... and I can do it while wearing a running skirt.
So my half-marathon training has been... lengthened. I'm still training. And I'm still hoping to doing a version of the half on October 1st in Florida. It might be a half/half... a quarter marathon, if you will. I'll still be proud of that, and I won't wallow in frustration. And maybe next July I can proudly write about my successful half marathon training... or maybe even marathon - barefoot.
*I don't talk about my health blahs a lot as it's quite a personal subject/story for me, but I've had a lot of you ask how the training is going. And it is indeed part of my journey, part of who I am, part of my adventure... thanks so much for asking and caring, gentle readers... you are truly the best.