Movies Galore

In prep for the upcoming awards shows I've seen a few flicks lately.  2010 had some suck-fests for movies... until the last 2 weeks of the year.  See these...

"The Fighter".  Worth it for Christian Bale's performance.

"Black Swan".  Darren Aronofsky is a genius.

"Blue Valentine".  Gut-wrenching.  Indescribable.  I think this one might be tougher on women than men.  And Ryan Gosling is beautiful.

"True Grit".  Sheer perfection.  Even down to the Arkansas accents.

Best movie of the year.  Colin Firth had better win.  Geoffrey Rush's speech in the Abbey is worth the ticket price alone.

And finally - I was asked recently my thoughts on "The Shining" and couldn't really answer as I don't think I've seen it since maybe Alyse Day's house in 7th grade... and I think I may have fallen asleep then.  Needless to say, thanks to Netflix streaming through Wii I watched it tonight.  And.it.was.brilliant.  From the opening chords of Berlioz's "Symphonie Fantastique" (which is one of my very favorite pieces of orchestration) I was hooked.  The imagery, the acting, the cinematography, and most important the BEAUTIFUL direction.  I can't wait to have a further discussion of this film.  And instead of the traditional pic of Jack axing through the bathroom door saying "Here's Johnny", I've included the visual that is probably my favorite after this first real viewing.  I love this kid.  I love this carpet.  I love his big-wheel.  Get it, Danny.  Get your shining on.

Weddings? Ehn, not so much. Flash Mob Expression? Sure.

For those who know me best, know my thoughts on love and marriage.  But this video I can get behind.  A presumably inexpensive and somewhat thrown together expression of two people's feelings for each other. Also anything that provides smiles and tears of joy to random strangers walking through a city like Boston, I'm down with.

But mostly, I love what the officiant says.  Amen, sister.  (Zoom to 4:03 if the rest is silly to you)

Great Starts (isn't that a cereal??)

2011 has started off relaxed and well.  Here's my weekend in pictures...

This is a New Yorker's view of snow.  The pretty white stuff doesn't last long around these parts and this is what it quickly turns into.  Hawt.

Central Park with what's left of the pretty stuff after an afternoon working at a Community Lunch Program on the UES - Thanks, Jessica, for the opportunity!!!

 Wollman Rink on New Year's Day.

Remains of a Times Square NYE.  Poor plastic glitter hat.

Let's get this year started!!! 1-2-3 (4)...

Coming into 2011.  Happy New Year, everyone!

And one final random send-up... Cosmo says grey is the new pale pink for the fingers.  So I obliged.  Glittery magenta on the toes.  I'm sure these are someone's school colors somewhere out there ;)

Let It Be

Emotional night.

Kennedy Center Honors always gets me.  But Paul McCartney's tribute culminating in "Let It Be" = tears.

Love it.  Let it be.

I've decided I like messy better

I haven't shared much of my dating life in awhile.  And I decided it's probably time.

I spent a few months dating a great guy this fall.  Our time together was seriously fun, and then it started occurring to me that as wonderful as he is, we just weren't a good match.  Something wasn't sitting right, and I tried to chalk it up to my ENDLESS need to sabotage and run (see The Art of Overthinking).  But the gnawing feeling in my gut just kept saying, "Girl.  This isn't it."  I talked to him about it, decided not to waste any more time, and brought things to a close.

Since then I've had this freakishly strange peace about my life.  It's like I took a stand for what my gut was telling me even if the world around me didn't see it, and this is my reward for not forcing a fit.  Since any end of a relationship is sad, I worried the holidays would suck.  But it really was ok (see Ho Ho Ho).

Every relationship - EVERY relationship - is a learning experience.  Especially the romantic ones.  You learn what you want.  You learn what you don't want.  You learn what's important and what's unimportant.  You learn your dealbreakers.  You learn your requirements, both of yourself and of your partner.  You learn that focusing on minor insignificances is probably the sign of more urgent concerns.  You learn to decode those signs within yourself.

I learned with this particular relationship that the dealbreakers I knew existed for me were real and unwavering.  I learned that I personally cannot enter into something with the "OMG-I'm-32-and-single-and-have-to-find-someone" mentality.  That has NEVER been my style, but I tried it and realized why it doesn't work for me.  While a planner in life, I'm more of a go-with-the-flow kinda gal when it comes to guys - strange but true.  Men and women are different for many reasons, one being that I cannot read them.  And why should I have to, or try to?

So.  All that to say, I need to just be for a bit.  I don't want to NOT date.  And I definitely don't want to be single forever, but seeking out that "perfect one" in a world where I don't fully believe that exists is paradoxical and unproductive.  I like to flirt.  I enjoy "the game" to an extent.  I'm not "that" girl, so why try to fit into "that" mold?  While I need to remember how tough the game can be (see Random Thoughts on Dating), I also need to remember it's a game for a reason - there are often winners and sometimes you lose too.  I truly think in the midst of the game will come peace for me.

I hate when people ask "what are you looking for?" in the dating realm.  I like to see where dating leads.  That could be 1 horrific date that leads to amazing stories (i.e. Bagel Boy or Mermaids Patron).  Or it could be 4 terrific dates that lead to great memories and possibly a new friend.  Or that could be a long-term fella who I finally fall for.  So what am I looking for?  I'm looking to learn.  I'm looking to be.  And I may try this going with my gut thing for awhile and learn that I'm wrong.  But I'm open to that too.  I'm looking to ride the wave...

I've tried to play things safe.  I've tried to play the game I'm supposed to play.  I would say most of 2010, not just with the most recent guy.  I've tried fitting into the THAT girl mold.  It's just not who I am.  It's foreign and wrong to me.  I've decided I like messy better.  It's more realistic in my current place.  Not unnecessary drama, just a bit of the... off.  I said that to someone the other day who responded, "Ya know.  Off is often much less boring."  Yes.  Absolutely.  Boredom is my kryptonite.  Typical and traditional isn't my bag.  Send me a bit of a mess to work for...

Who knows, maybe I'm the mess the Universe is sending to me to work for...  Interesting thought...

Snow!!!

The news promised a snowstorm for Saturday night, then Sunday morning, then kept pushing it back.  So when several friends/family called asking if the blizzard had hit, I just said I didn't think it was gonna hit NYC.  I was wrong.

Outside my apartment this morning...

Waiting for the train in 4 foot snow drifts...

Outside my office on 42nd Street... (wonder if they'll get this all cleared up by Friday for the NYE bash)

Sexy zippy boots as promised.

Trekked out in Astoria tonight to grab some pics.  Astoria Blvd near the bridge is below.  I did, however, fashion a fabulous wintry ensemble to wear, but I failed to get a picture of it.  It included my Razorback hoodie, black leggings, red legwarmers, a red hat, and my new black rubber boots purchased today sans zipper.

The streets have clearly not had much of a plowing, but the sidewalks had a skinny little walkway.

Snow! from White Christmas...

Snow
It won't be long before we'll all be there with snow
Snow
I want to wash my hands, my face and hair with snow

Snow
I long to clear a path and lift a spade of snow
Snow
Oh, to see a great big man entirely made of snow

Where it's snowing
All winter through
That's where I want to be
Snowball throwing
That's what I'll do
How I'm longing to ski
Through the snow-oh-oh-oh-oh

Those glist'ning houses that seem to be built of snow
Snow
Oh, to see a mountain covered with a quilt of snow

What is Christmas with no snow
No white Christmas with no snow
Snow

I'll soon be there with snow
I'll wash my hair with snow
And with a spade of snow
I'll build a man that's made of snow
I'd love to stay up with you but I recommend a little shuteye
Go to sleep
And dream
Of snow!!!

Ho Ho Ho - Christmas 2010.

I spent my first Christmas alone.  And as I mentioned in my last entry, I'm very happy about it.  Now that it's all said I'm done, I'm THRILLED about it.  Many of you have been curious what I did with myself during this time.  Here's a pictorial account...

This is my 10th Christmas season in NYC and 10th that I've wanted to see the NYC Ballet's "The Nutcracker".  Tickets ain't cheap though and NO ONE ever wants to go with me.  So Selby got me a ticket as my Christmas present.  I went on Christmas Eve, and it was FANTASTIC!!

Me at Lincoln Center post-ballet

My friend Sal sent me my horoscope for the Christmas weekend which said to indulge in food and not stress about the calories.  So I did just that.  My Christmas morning breakfast consisted of biscuits and Nesquik.

Although afterward I went for a run...

Much of the day was spent hearing from family and friends.  The ones of you who texted off and on made me realize how fortunate I am to have AMAZING friends.

Not to mention how lucky I am for this one (who DID NOT want her picture taken)

Funny how even opening presents by myself (via Skype with my mom and stepdad) creates a mess...

I met up with my friend Jeff and his boyfriend Stephen (who btdubs I COULD NOT love more).  I failed to take pics of that gathering... friend failure.

I scored a ticket to "Donny & Marie: A Broadway Christmas" for Christmas night and had a hilarious time.  They are such entertainers.  I mean, seriously, 48 years of entertaining must brainwash it into them.  While I did not exactly fit in with the rest of the crowd at the Marquis, it was definitely a good time.

Part of the reason I stayed here this year was because the past 3 years have presented massive travel difficulties either traveling to or from Arkansas... or both directions.  Super glad I went with that gut instinct this year as NYC is in the midst of a hardcore blizzard!!  Here's me as it was getting started... yes, this is the very front edge of the storm.  I can't wait to commute to work tomorrow.  I foresee jeans, a hoodie, and my super sexy zippy snow boots.  If you're lucky, I'll snag a pic for your enjoyment.

Altogether a nice, reflective weekend - much needed.  But when I went to Skype with my fabulous Mamaw and some of my family Christmas afternoon, my computer went kaput.  I went ahead and called telling her I was about to throw the computer out the window.  To which she informed me that that would do no good.  I suppose she's right.  RIP Dell Computer.  You were a good friend (sometimes)...

Before the blizzard got too bad, Suzanne nudged me over the edge to head to the Apple Store.  Thus, I am now a Mac owner.  I have a lot to learn, but I'm already excited about my new baby here in my lap!  It's sort of reminding me of the first morning after I had LASIK surgery - a bit unsure, a bit fuzzy, but instantly knowing the right decision was made!